Viagra Jokes :)

May 19, 2008

 
• A man at a nursing home took Viagra and went to the lunch room, where the residents were playing Bingo. To get their attention he yelled out, “SUPER SEX!, Super Sex!” The ladies yelled back: “I want the SOUP!”, “Soup, Please.” “Oh, I’d love some soup!”
• Generic Viagra is sold under the name Fix-a-Flat.
• New Viagra eye drops make you look hard.
• Viagra in Spanish, we’re told, is “viejos agradecidos” or “greated old guys” (sic).
• Viagra has been a big boon to ’stand up’ comedians.
• The man spent too much money on Viagra: Now, he’s hard up.
• Viagra in chocolate bars - you eat it, She says, “Oh, Oh Henry!”
• A bank sign in Dallas during this heat wave complains: “Who put Viagra in the thermometer?”
• Bread with Viagra as an added ingredient is being marketed through a Boston bakery under the name “Pepperidge Firm”.
• Did you hear about the first death from an overdose of Viagra? A man took twelve pills and his wife died.
• A man at the pharmacy to pick up his Viagra prescription exclaimed over the $10/pill price. His wife, who was with him, had a different opinion: “Oh, $40 a year isn’t too bad.”
• …Then there was the man who got his Viagra tablet stuck in his throat and suffered from a stiff neck.
• Have you tried the new hot beverage, Viagraccino? One cup and you’re up all night.
• How many doses of Viagra does it take to change a light bulb? One little tablet, and it’s a whole new bulb.
• Men are being warned not to take Viagra with nitrates after five gentlemen in India did so and changed the balance of power in the region.
• The Viagra computer virus turns your floppy disk into a hard drive. The Viagra Super virus then sucks all your data off the hard drive.
• If you’re depressed and think you might need Viagra, see a professional. If that doesn’t work, see a doctor!
• A guy named Dave emailed us that he left his Viagra tablet in his shirt pocket when he sent it to the laundry. Now, his shirt is too stiff to wear.
• We received the report today that it is no longer necessary to stake tomatoes. Just dissolve a Viagra tablet in the water and they stand up straight and tall.
• Viagra is now being compared to Disneyland - a one-hour wait for a 2-minute ride.
• Dan Quail does not support Viagra. Quote: “I’ve been using this stuff for a week and NOTHING! It’s the worst suppository I’ve ever used.”
• Men taking iron supplements are warned that taking Viagra may cause them to spin around and point north.
• Rumor has it that when a truck carrying a load of Viagra slid off into the Ohio River, all the lift bridges suddenly went up.
• New plans are being made to raise the Titanic. Experts plan to pump it full of Viagra, and expect it to raise right up.
• For years the medical professional has been looking after the ill, to make them better. Now, with Viagra, they’re raising the dead!
• The difference between Niagara and Viagra? Niagara Falls.
• It’s been said that if you take Viagra and Propecia (or use Rogain) at the same time, things work great — but you look like Don King, afterward.
• A Viagra delivery truck was high-jacked: The police are looking for two ‘hardened criminals’. They expect a stiff penalty under the penal code.
• Unconfirmed but frequent reports tell us that a man who overdosed on Viagra caused the funeral home problems - they couldn’t close his coffin lid for 3 days.
• Even so, we’re told that the funeral home industry is happy about Viagra overdoses: Lots of new stiffs means an upswing in business.
• We loved Newsweek’s comments on the trade name Microsoft® , to wit:

Let’s see… “Micro” and “Soft”. Needs Viagra!

Source: www.net2business.com

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